Built Strong While Doing It Alone

Some people think I “became independent” after my marriage ended.

The truth is—I already was.

When we were married, I carried the house.
Every winter, I was expected to shovel the driveway, clear a path to the shed and oil tank, knock snow off the roof, pay the bills, take care of the kids, clean the house, and somehow still cater to his constant needs.

It wasn’t partnership.
It was obligation.

It felt less like a marriage and more like being hired as a full-time maid who never got to clock out.

I remember telling him once, “I didn’t marry you to become your maid.”
His response was always the same: “Just ask if you need help.”

But here’s the thing—
When you’re married, you shouldn’t have to ask your partner to help with the dishes.
You shouldn’t have to beg them to turn off the TV and play with their children.
You shouldn’t have to brace yourself for an argument every time you need support.

And if I did ask?
It was like pulling teeth.
It would turn into a fight about how he made all the money, worked more hours, and therefore didn’t have to help—because it was “my responsibility.”

That’s not teamwork.
That’s entitlement.

So I learned to do it all myself—with an audience.
I learned how to survive while being minimized.
I learned how to keep going while being told I was asking for too much.

And here’s the part he never anticipated:

I didn’t break.

I became stronger.
Tougher.
More capable than I ever knew I could be.

Now? I don’t just survive—I thrive.
I handle things with confidence instead of fear.
I trust myself.
I know what I’m capable of because I already proved it when no one was cheering me on.

I didn’t need permission to be strong.
I was forged that way.

And the woman I am now?
She’s kicking butt in every way that matters—without carrying someone else who refused to show up.