He Moved on Fast. I Chose to Heal

I keep seeing posts that say the narcissist is the one who moves on the fastest.
And the more I reflect on my own experience, the more I realize how true that is.

When I was still willing to try—when I reached out hoping for conversation, accountability, and repair—I was already sitting across from someone who had emotionally checked out. There were date nights and lunch dates where his attention drifted elsewhere. Checking out other women. Talking about his “freedom.” Texting another woman he claimed he wasn’t dating—though it was painfully clear that he was.

There were even condoms in the dresser while we were still married.

I wanted honesty. I wanted healing. I wanted to talk and understand what had broken and whether it could be repaired.
He was focused on moving on—on finding my replacement before our marriage had even ended.

And while he rushed forward, I stayed.

I didn’t jump into something new to avoid the pain. I didn’t distract myself from the grief or try to outrun the reality of what I had lost. Instead, I turned inward. I reflected. I worked on myself. I allowed myself to feel what needed to be felt.

That choice wasn’t easy—but it was necessary.

In that space of healing, something different began to grow.

My relationship with Ryan didn’t start out rushed or reactive. We didn’t jump in to fill a void. We talked—a lot. We built connection through long conversations, video chats, honesty, and emotional safety. Slowly. Intentionally. And because of that, what we’re building feels real and grounded.

I also didn’t move in with someone the moment things got hard or when housing felt uncertain for me and my son. I made things happen on my own. I figured it out. I stood on my own two feet without relying on a man to rescue me.

That mattered—to me.

Do I wish Ryan lived closer? Absolutely. Do I wish we could spend more time together right now? One hundred percent.
But I trust the timing. I trust the process. We will get there—when it’s right.

What matters most is that I’m no longer choosing survival over self-respect.

I didn’t move on fast.
I moved with intention.

And in doing so, I built something far stronger than a rebound—I built a life rooted in trust, honesty, and love.