The Double Standard I Finally See Clearly

Sometimes I look back at how my ex and his girlfriend used to harass me and call me “irresponsible,” and honestly, I have to shake my head. They painted this picture of me as someone who didn’t have a stable home for my son, as if I wasn’t trying every single day to give him the safest life I could.

But when I really think about it, the reality is so different from the version they told.

I wasn’t irresponsible- I was surviving. I was rebuilding. I was doing everything in mu power to my son safe and to keep our life moving forward. We lived at my work 10 months, and then at the damper for four more. And through every single one of those days, my son was cared for, fed, loved, and protected. That isn’t irresponsibility. That’s resilience. That’s motherhood. That’s strength.

The part that still baffles me is how my ex and his girlfriend judged me for living in a hotel….yet now he is doing the exact same thing. He moved straight in with another woman into a one-bedroom extended-stay room without even trying to find an apartment for him and Hunter. And somehow that is okay? Somehow that is acceptable.

It’s the double standard that hits me the hardest how they were so eager to tear me down fir circumstances I was fighting through, while completely ignoring the choices he makes without a second thought.

I’m starting to understand that they never cared about the truth. They cared about the story that made me look like the problem, so they didn’t have to face their own dysfunction. My ex never healed, never reflected, never worked on himself. He distracts, avoids, numbs, and moves on to the next thing without ever looking inward.

I grew. He didn’t.

And that difference is becoming clearer every day.

His family still can’t (or won’t) see the damage he caused. Maybe admitting it would mean admitting they enabled it. Maybe it’s easier for them to pretend I was the issues than to acknowledge the truth- that I was the one trying, fighting, pushing forward, and protecting my child while they stayed stuck in their own denial.

The truth is simple.

I am not irresponsible.

I am not the villian.

I am not what their narrative tried to make me.

I’m the one who got back up. I am the one that healed. I’m the one who rebuilt my life from the ground up. I’m the one showing up for my kids every single day.

I survived what they tried to break in me, and I came out stronger, clearer, and more grounded. My ex can play the victim all he wants but I see the truth now- and I’m finally done carrying the weight of their lies.