The Ornament I Let Go Of
This holiday season, I opened a box of ornaments that were supposed to be just the kids things- pieces of their childhood, of our family traditions, of moments that belonged to them. But mixed in with all of that was something I wasn’t prepared to see: our “First Christmas Together” ornament.
The second I saw it, something inside me sank. It wasn’t just a decoration, and it wasn’t just a memory. It was a reminder of a version of myself I no longer recognize- the girl who was still learning what love was supposed to feel like, the woman who tried so hard to hold everything together even while being dismissed, controlled, or hurt.
That ornament didn’t symbolize joy anymore. It symbolized everything I survived.
And finding it there carelessly included, without thought or consideration-felt like being pulled back into a place I’ve worked so hard to climb out of. It felt like someone sopening a door I had already closed and locked without my permission.
In that moment I reacted. I took a hammer to it and shattered it.
And the truth is, I’m not ashamed of that. It wasn’t anger for the sake of anger. It was release. It was my body saying “No more. This doesn’t follow me into the future.”
Breaking it didn’t break me- it freed me.
I realized as the pieces shattered that I wasn’t destroying a memory… I was reclaiming my power form it. I was letting go of a symbol that no longer represents love, partnership, or the life I’m building now.
